’m often asked the question about who should serve in particular roles when it comes to a client’s estate plan. It’s a common concern, and parents often think about what’s fair when assigning roles to their kids. They might see these roles—like executor, power of attorney, healthcare surrogate, HIPAA authorization, and trustee—as a badge of honor or a sign of trust. They want to show that they trust each child equally and don’t want anyone to feel left out.
But when you’re planning your estate, thinking about what’s fair isn’t necessarily the best approach. You need to consider who is truly capable of handling these responsibilities. You’re talking about people who will make significant decisions on your behalf, manage assets, make distributions, and implement your estate plan.
Focusing on maturity and trust is key. For example, if you have a child, Johnny, who struggles with managing his own finances, has trouble saving, or racks up debt, he’s probably not the best choice to handle a large sum of money just because you don’t want him to feel excluded. You have to set aside those feelings and focus on who’s actually best suited for the role.
So, when deciding who should serve in these various roles, ask yourself: Who can handle these responsibilities with the maturity they require? Who do you trust to make decisions in your best interest, even if they’re tough? These roles aren’t about fairness—they’re about ensuring your estate is managed properly and your wishes are carried out as you intended.